10 Things I Learned When I Became Religious: (#9) Love Is Not For Everyone

This seems counterintuitive, that love is not for everyone, but it’s something you learn seeking religion. From the outside looking in you most likely think that we are all about love, but you would be mistaken. Don’t get me wrong, I believe Jesus is all about love but what we are talking about in this post is, “Things I Learned When I Became A Religious”, and that, my friend, isn’t a love story it’s a story.

Will you feel love going to church? The answer is yes. Will you feel that loving people are all around you? The answer is still yes. Will you feel peace, joy, happiness and a belonging? Most definitely yes. In fact, you may feel more loved than you have ever felt in your life. You may feel like you are now at home in the place you were always meant to be.

The question now is: Why then isn’t love for everyone? So, let’s get to it, for you to understand why some are not loved you will need to understand one concept.

Honest people are not loved

As a church goer, you will feel love and you will be accepted, and you will be surrounded by people who love you but not if you are honest. An honest person is not someone who will be loved. To be loved you must be either dishonest or secretive. You must hide in your own truth (whatever that is).  I know this sounds confusing so let’s unpack it from a Religious perspective. First the basics.

  • Everyone on Earth is a sinner
  • Everyone has fallen short
  • If you break one law you break them all

Those three things put all people, from a Christian perspective, in one single boat. There are no other boats to run to. You can’t escape this truth as a Christian. So, when we show up at church and reach out to each other, keep in mind that no one is worthy, and all are guilty.

But also keep in mind all the smiling faces, warm hugs, and pleasing words when we greet each other because that all comes to an end the moment someone opens their mouth and says something honest about the real issues they face, or the real desires they have or even the very real past they left behind.

I’ll give you a few things people can say that will quickly end all that love.

  • Your political party
  • Your sexual preferences
  • Your bad behavior
  • Your religious beliefs
  • Your dark past

Say what you really think about Trump or Obama in the wrong church and see how much love remains. Time will not ease that tension easily and even if it does it requires that you never again say how you really feel.

Say out loud what your true sexual desires are and see how many people sit next to you on Sunday. Gender preferences, device preferences, clothing preferences, language preferences. and even mental preferences are complicated when dealing with human sexuality. Everyone has something they are not talking about because being honest and open is not appreciated. Keep those thoughts to yourself!

Tell everyone you have anger issues and you cut yourself to feel alive. Tell them what music you really listen to or what movies you really like to watch. Tell them you’re an atheist and see what happens. Tell them you got pregnant by mistake or you can’t stop popping pills.

People are afraid to say that they don’t have decent food at home because they don’t have any money. They are afraid to say they need clothes or that their electricity is off. They don’t want to say they can’t afford medication and that they’re hurting. But why can’t they say it? Aren’t they surrounded by people who love them? Or are they surrounded by people who will shame them?

Imagine what the people sitting around you are really dealing with.

In the past, they would force young mothers to pretend they were sisters to their own children just to escape the judgement of fellow church goers. Imagine not being able to love your own child as a parent.

How many people in church are screaming on the inside? I’ve talked to many of them.

To be accepted and loved you must be a good person or at the very least as good a person as is acceptable. But in there lies the rub because only God is good.

The truth is we are all hurting, and we are all complicated. We can’t talk about it because we will not be treated well by those who say they love us. I know this because I have watched people be torn apart the moment they opened their mouths or the moment a secret was revealed. It’s clear we are not loving those with the greatest need to be loved but we are loving those who are good at pretending and can fit in.

No one is spotless, and we all have challenges.

I decided to leave it all in God’s hands. I am not here to judge so I will simply love everyone the same. I am not here to hate anyone. Be who you are! It’s not a complicated solution because we are all in the same boat with nowhere to go.

Categories: Unfiltered Literal Bible InformationTags:


  1. Very true! Thought-provoking post.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I so absolutely agree with your post! “Honest people are not loved” – that is so sadly true.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I like this “Honest people are not loved” idea. This happens because all of the judgement and the so called “rules” that pushes us to embrace a certain normality and whatever drifts away from it, it’s strange and therefore it needs to be rejected. But being a good person doesn’t imply to be normal and the challenge for us as humans is to see this…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have a plaque on my wall the says “People need Loving the most when they deserve it the least.” It is a great reminder.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. What you wrote is true. But I don’t think it’s limited to religion: it seems to be an intrinsic aspect of all human institutions because at hear we’re tribalistic animals — no matter how much we pretend to be otherwise.

    Liked by 2 people

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